Back in July, I went to my first Thai wedding! Since I’ve attended many Thai funerals during my service, this was a very welcome change. Wedding ceremonies differ quite a bit from those back home in America, so it was a fascinating experience! Especially considering I didn’t know what was happening, or why, the majority of the time. However, thanks to some discussions with my counterparts and neighbors after the events, I was able to understand some of the traditions and customs of a traditional Northeast Thailand, a region known as Isaan, wedding ceremony. Also, if you want to read more about Thai wedding traditions from a Thai perspective, check out this fantastic blog! It was a big help in piecing together the missing parts of the puzzle.
Although I’ve attended many Thai ceremonies in spite of not knowing any of the people involved, I am well acquainted with Dr. Thamatat, or Nui. He received his Ph.D. in Education from Khon Kaen University and teaches mathematics at a high school in Kalasin, about 25 kilometers from my home. Any time my area hosts an English camp, he and I work together. So it was an exciting and novel experience for me to have a connection with someone in the wedding party.
My co-teacher, P’Ple, and two other teachers, P’Mai and P’Lamduan, picked me up at 6:30 am (yikes!) and we headed over to Roi Et, the neighboring province capital. We met up with the rest of the groom’s party and drove over to the bride’s mother’s house where the ceremony would take place. This is embarrassing to admit now, but when I first saw Nui, I thought he had acne/blemish cream on his forehead. He was already dressed so nicely, and I thought, “Is he gonna wipe that off before the wedding starts?” Ha! How far I’ve come… Both the bride and groom wear three dots of white paste, usually powder and water, on their foreheads as a form of blessing. So no, Nui didn’t wipe it off 🙂
When we arrived, we lined up along the road and walked with the groom a short distance to the bride’s house. Family and friends carried gifts that would be given to the bride’s family, including the gold that would be exchanged during the ceremony. This is called the Khan Mak (ขันหมาก) procession, and it’s traditionally a rowdy announcement of the arrival of the groom.
Once we arrived to the house, members of the bride’s family formed three “doors” that the groom had to pass, a tradition called “pee-tee gahn brah-duu” (พิธีกั้นประตู). Naam’s family used gold and silver belts, and Nui had to present envelopes of money in order to be allowed to pass by them.
The third door is typically the most difficult to pass, and depending on how rough a time the bride’s family want to playfully give the groom, he may have to present an extra envelope of money. The groom then steps onto a small block and has his feet brushed off, symbolic of shaking the dust off his previous life.
A dowry was presented to the bride’s family, and family members came up and sprinkled sage over the money to symbolize seasoning it and helping the couple’s monetary blessings grow. It was really interesting to me to see such a traditional custom like a dowry still being used. Then everyone gathered in a circle around a large, ornate decoration made of elaborately folded banana leaves and prepared for the ceremony to start.
Nui then presented Naam with gifts of gold. Usually these gifts (typically necklaces and a bracelet and/or ring) are carried in the Khan Mak procession, then placed on a tray until they are ready to be presented. They represent the financial security the groom will be able to provide the bride.
Once the headdresses are in place, and the gold has been given, there is a lot of prayer. A LOT.
It was about this time that I finally looked around the room and realized most of the guests were outside and only family and close friends were present. P’Ple, P’Lamduan, and P’Mai weren’t there. “Oh my god,” I thought. “What am I doing in here?” I suddenly became incredibly self-conscious about intruding on such a private ceremony, but just a few moments later Nui happened to catch my eye and grinned just a bit. It was almost as if he knew what I was thinking and offered reassurance the only way he could right then. I was fine, and no one minded that I was there. In fact, the others seemed a little tickled that the foreign woman was so interested in what was happening. And I most definitely was!
After the longest stretch of prayers was complete, the sai sin ceremony began. Sai sin is the Thai name for white string that has been blessed by monks. Often, everyone present will hold onto the string together while prayers and blessings are being spoken so that everyone is connected. Then, whoever the ceremony is for will have smaller strings tied to their wrists by guests as blessings and positive wishes are offered. You can read more about sai sin ceremonies in Thailand here.
After everyone had a turn, the couple ceremoniously poured water into a bowl to symbolize their official union, and they ate boiled eggs. I keep asking about the eggs, but all I can gather is that they have something to do with good health, ha! Then we all went outside to eat. Tables and chairs had been set up under a large awning, and there was a small stage for taking photos with the beautiful couple.
And of course, it wouldn’t be Thailand without a sound system and karaoke!
Although I often get antsy at events where I don’t really know what’s going on, I was so excited to have the opportunity to experience and learn about a traditional Isaan wedding. It’s definitely one of my favorite cultural events of Thailand. I am thankful to Nui and Naam for letting me be a part of theirs!
Check out the gallery below for more photos from the day (click on any image to enlarge it):
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Reblogged this on It's Not About Me and commented:
I’m on vacation, but my fellow volunteer and friend Carly just wrote this amazing post about Thai weddings with some stunning pictures and videos. I haven’t had a chance to attend a wedding and probably won’t in the next three months, so please cluck through to read more about Thai weddings.